Enigma

For a few weeks now Mr. B has had what I like to call a "mini obsession." These are fixations on particular objects or concepts that only last for a brief time and/or only come up in conversation intermittently. His "long term obsessions" are extensive (as we know.) Sometimes his "minis" and his "long terms" collide. He's been talking about enigma machines. And cattle brands.

I had never heard of an enigma machine. They are basically German encryption/decryption devices used in WWII. They sort of look like typewriters. He captured my ear the other night at work about them...at the tail end of a busy day where patrons never seemed to stop asking me questions. I lacked patience. I admit it. 

He told me he wanted to get pictures of an enigma machine because he thought it would be a good idea to customize it to print out different cattle brands on long strips of paper. 
I have looked up cattle brand information for him before. Being from New York, I didn't know thing one about cattle brands. I didn't know that States keep giant books of registered brands so no two are alike. I didn't know that it's a highly complex symbolic system.  

He asked me what I thought of this idea. He invited my opinion. And my exasperation.

"Do you know how many cattle brands there are?" I sighed.

"500,000." He replied.

"How are you going to make one machine with all the symbols you require to generate all of those brands on a strip of paper?"

"I won't need that many buttons. I can combine symbols. I can sell the strips of paper. Roll 'em up and sell 'em as souvenirs."

"Where are you going to sell them as souvenirs?"

"Anywhere."

"Well, you should probably sell them at Ranches that people can visit. I can't think of anyone else who would be your target market for that."

He never gets discouraged by me. And I know this approach seems harsh. However, I need to get him down from his lofty froth of synaptic misfires sometimes for his own good. 

This exchange came a few days after he wanted me to print out a lot of seemingly nonsensical Google images for him at 20 cents a page. (Cowboy chaps, viking navigational tools, a 20 page article about a plane of some sort) When I tried to shrink some of the images down so I could fit more on a page to save him money he told me not to. He needed the images large. I asked him if he had money for meals that week and gently advised him that that might be a more sensible way to spend his money. (Money that he barely has, by the way.) He appreciated my concern but he simply needed the information and he needed the images. Period. I had done what I could. So I was forced to charge him 10 dollars and change for print outs that he will throw in his car and forget about. I just feel helpless and frustrated with him sometimes. This is mental illness. And I don't have any idea what to do for him. Except give him what he wants.

So we have the Cattle Brand Enigma machine which only exists in Mr. B's mind. He's not an inventor...he's more of an idea man. Not sure who he'll send that idea to. I'm guessing the King Ranch will be hearing from him sometime soon.

It was Mr. B's birthday today. He's 73.